Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Fughin' Christmas

Christmas comes but once a year and it isn’t for the faint of heart, or the lily livered. I forget the catharsis of Christmas specials until I find myself in the perennial tradition of emptying a bottle of wine between a Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story. It’s my only respite from the group of cretins I didn’t, as much as my parent’s dating habits, chose for me as relatives. It’s enough to be elbows deep in the Christmas spirits.

I know it’s a statistical misnomer, and perhaps it’s because if I killed myself right now my mother would never let me hear the end of it. Between all the long johns and much appreciated video games, the best present my family ever gave to me was a morbid sense of humour, up for adoption withstanding. It’s an inheritance that’s allowed us to still love each other.

I’ll come down from the cross now, even if we’ve lapsed, Catholics keep the tradition of Christ in Christmas.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Bad Rap

“I be the RZA, call me that cause I
Never liked the name I received from my poppa”

-RZA (AKA Robert Fitzgerald Diggs), Cuttin’ Headz

No kidding, with names like these, I’d start a rap career just for the pseudonym.

1. Big L- Lamont Coleman
2. Mase- Mason Durelle Betha
3. Redman- Reginald Noble
4. Snoop Dogg- Cordozar Calvin Broadus
5. Masta Killa- Elgin Turner
6. NaS- Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones
7. Big Daddy Kayne- Antonio Monterio Hardy
8. Kool Moe Dee- Mohandas Dewese
9. U-God- Lamont Jody Hawkins

Saturday, February 13, 2010


I'm so over the Olympics even though it's been two years since the last. I think it exists as a clearinghouse for shitty sports you'd never ever find yourself watching otherwise. Cross-country skiing how exhilarating, I’m glad we’ve supplanted speed walking into a winter event.

Also I've never ever under stood how the Olympics is about amateur sports which basically means non-sponsored athletes, when it's just so full of terrible marketing, like people in peak physical condition endorsing cheeseburgers. (edit: I found out that the Olympics started phasing out the requirements of amateur athletes because a bunch from the Eastern Bloc existed as full-time state sponsored athletes.)

Besides, I hail from Toronto, specifically North York, which unlike most of Canada is a true melting pot, so national pride comes as a bit odd for me. Further more I’m genetically too much of a mutt to care although my nationality of Irish/Scott Pollack/Ukrainian makes up the constituents of the people whose backs this country was built on. Until they have some geriatric Pole from the prairies representing the Great White North in a drinking competition I refuse to show any interest. I’m also refusing to step on any Faberge eggshells about my heritage.

I do have to laugh about the irony of while praising Native culture through the games and praising our own multiculturalism, despite pillaging the aforementioned, we’ve done a pretty good job of displacing a good portion of another native population, the homeless. Some of which I’m sure contain an actual percent of the Native population.

I guess headlines like this keep things appealing.

I applaud the ever-present tastefulness of the games, as the video of the crash was posted on youtube.

Over and out.